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Susan Fee

In This Issue

News & Notes:  Pit Bull Bosses

Topic of the Month:  Taming Workplace Bullies

Questions for Reflection

Action Step

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News & Notes: Pit Bull Bosses

Bullying continues to make national headlines, but the problem doesn’t necessarily get better once you enter the workplace.  Professionally, aggressive behavior is often rewarded and promoted as the only way to win in a competitive marketplace. In other words, the worst bullies can be bosses. 

Kevin Morrissey allegedly was bullied by his boss for months before committing suicide near the University of Virginia campus where he wrote for the Virginia Quarterly Review.  While there is no proof that continued bullying leads to suicide, what we can say is that chronic bullying deeply affects people, some to the point of feeling hopeless. 

If you work in a hostile environment, you know how stressful it can be.  This month’s tips will focus on addressing bullying.  But, it’s also important to become aware of the signs of stress and depression.  Some people are more vulnerable than others, so even if you feel fine, someone else might be suffering.  I’ve posted an easy checklist of symptoms on my blog along with other resources.  Please check it out.

 

 

Until next month,

And, just for fun and inspiration, take a look at this speech by d

Susan Fee

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Topic of the Month:  Taming Workplace Bullies

 

Much of the work I do is on bullying prevention in schools and camps.  Even though I’m focusing on kids, I hear a ton of stories from adults about being bullied at work.  The major difference between childhood and adult bullying is that in the workplace, bullying is often an admirable behavior!  In a competitive marketplace, who better to make tough decisions, fire up performance, and crunch numbers than a bully?

Before you take on a workplace bully, here are five tips to consider:

Know the mindset.  Contrary to popular myth, bullies have a very high self-esteem, to the point of arrogance.  They see nothing wrong with their behavior, and why should they if it’s been rewarded and promoted?  Be prepared to have your reaction minimized as being “too sensitive,” or told you need to “grow a thicker skin.”  In the bully’s mind, you are definitely the one with the problem. 

Prepare for battle.  A workplace bully’s weapons of mass destruction include blaming others for errors (real or not), making unreasonable or inconsistent demands, criticism, belittling, exclusion, withholding information, sabotage, and stealing credit.  They don’t play fair, but avoid making this your argument.

Talk the right game.  Bullies value power and status while victims value feelings and fairness.  A signature bully characteristic is a lack of empathy.  The biggest mistake victims make is telling a bully how he or she is affecting them emotionally or that the treatment is unfair.  A bully does not care!

Build a business case.  To successfully confront a workplace bully, you must build a case that shows how he or she is hurting the bottom line.  Quantify the costs of lowered productivity, stalled career advancement, turnover, health care costs due to stress, sick days, and absences.  Document evidence and gather willing witnesses.  Exhaust the system in place before seeking legal counsel.

Weigh your options.  In a tight economy, more employees are willing to endure bullying out of fear of unemployment.  The reality is, just because you make a case, it doesn’t mean the work culture that promoted your nemesis will change. At least 50% of victims end up leaving their jobs.  That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t speak up, but you need a Plan B.  Prepare yourself emotionally; most likely you are already drained and vulnerable.  Seek the support of peers, friends, family, and outside counseling.

 

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Questions for Reflection

 

What behaviors are rewarded in your business culture?  Do bullies get promoted?

Have you used bullying behavior like fear and intimidation to advance your own career?

If a co-worker was being bullied, how would you react?

 

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 Action Step

 

If you are a victim of workplace bullying, consider the real costs and document how this behavior hurts the bottom line. 

 

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Interested in booking training or coaching?  Let me know how I can help, Susan_Fee@msn.com. 

 

Susan Fee is a professional clinical counselor, personal coach, and national speaker.  She is the author of Positive First Impressions, Dealing with Difficult People, Dealing with Mean Girls, Building Resiliency, Secrets of Successful Presentations, and the college survival guide, My Roommate Is Driving Me Crazy!  She can be reached through her Web site at www.susanfee.com or by email at Susan_Fee@msn.com. 

 

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, 2010