Products by

Susan Fee

In This Issue

News & Notes:  Tweet, Tweet

Manager's Tip Sheet:  Turning Guilt Into Action

Personal Tip Sheet:  Relate with Rapport

Well Said! Quotes to Inspire

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News & Notes: Tweet, Tweet

Our 44th President has a lot of “firsts” tied to his biography, including his use of technology.  Obama was the first presidential candidate to announce his running mate on Twitter.  In case you have no idea what Twitter is or how you respond to a “tweet,” join the crowd!   New York Times technology columnist, David Pogue offers this very easy-to-understand article on the pros and cons of the latest social networking fad in, “Twittering Tips for Beginners.”

 

I’m all for the use of technology to improve communication – except when it doesn’t.  I don’t know about you, but the thought of having to monitor and update yet one more source wears me out.  The good news is, my resistance makes me stand out.  Now when I take the time to actually call someone to discuss an idea, they find it refreshingly unusual! 

 

Until next month,

Susan Fee

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Manager's Tip Sheet: Turning Guilt Into Action

I spoke with a client recently who said he was feeling “survivor’s guilt.”  Why was he being spared his job when others were losing theirs?  There seems to be no good answer, and when your question leads you to a brick wall, it’s time to ask a different one.  A more productive question to ask, particularly in the midst of crisis, is “What can I do for myself and others right now?” Or, “How can I be most useful?”

Marshall Goldsmith is the author of “What Got You Here Won’t Get You There.”  He says that every manager’s number one job is getting the best from his or her people.  Here are four ideas he offers on how to do that during today’s economic struggles:

Judge less.  Realize that any unusual behavior may have deeper causes.  As much as you think you may know your employees, there’s probably more going on for them personally than you may be aware of.  Be more understanding and tolerant than usual.

Offer to help.  Even if your company is laying off employees, you can’t afford to lose everyone else.  The way to build loyalty is to offer to help out those who need it.  If you see an employee who appears to be under unusual amounts of stress, don’t be afraid to step in and offer a helping hand. 

Focus on the future.  A lot of people want to talk about “what could have been.”  Forget it.  Get your team focused on what’s ahead.

Reflect on your own emotions.  Be aware of your own stress levels and seek professional help if necessary.  You can only take so much of supporting others before you begin to crumble.  Rather than take it out on your team or family, consider making an appointment with a licensed counselor to find better ways to cope.

 

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Personal Tip Sheet: Relate with Rapport

Have you ever met someone and felt like you instantly clicked?   It's a feeling of ease, when conversation flows, and each of you feels understood.   That sense of connection is called rapport, and it's a skill that can be developed. 

Perhaps you've known people who are able to build rapport quickly.   Put them in any situation and they can strike up a conversation with strangers as if they've known them a lifetime.   They are instantly likeable.   Think about people you like and you'll unlock the key to rapport: We like people just like us.   In other words, building rapport means adapting to the style of the other person through a technique called mirroring.   Here are five ways to mirror another person to build rapport:

 Mirror, don't mock.  There's a fine line between mirroring another person's communication style and mocking it.   Be careful not to become an exaggerated version of someone else.   Give your full attention to the other person and notice how he or she appears to be comfortable.   This doesn't mean you're being fake since you're not changing your message, just delivering it in a way that someone else is more likely to hear it.    

      

Mirror body language.   Pay attention to all body language such as facial expressions, eye contact, and personal space.   Notice how people sit – do they lean forward, back, or cross their legs?   Assuming similar body language puts others at ease.   (Some of you may recognize this from my seminars when I ask you to freeze and notice how closely you are matching the body language of the people next to you.   It's usually identical!) 

Mirror volume, tone, and rate.   Speak at the same rate and volume as the other person.   For instance, someone who speaks slowly and softly will feel more comfortable with that style.   

   

Mirror breathing rate.   This one is more subtle and will take some practice.   Matching the other person's breathing rate helps you match their energy level.   It puts you in synch, almost like a dance.   Start by becoming aware of your own breathing patterns.   The more relaxed we are, the more slowly we breathe.   Short, shallow breaths usually reveal anxiety.   Breathing rates tend to match speaking rates.

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 Well Said! Quotes to Inspire

"Most conversations are simply monologues delivered in the presence of a witness."

Margaret Miller

   

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Interested in booking training or coaching?  Let me know how I can help, Susan_Fee@msn.com. 

 

Susan Fee is a licensed counselor, personal coach, and national speaker.  She is the author of Positive First Impressions, Dealing with Difficult People, Building Resiliency, Secrets of Successful Presentations, and the college survival guide, My Roommate Is Driving Me Crazy!  She can be reached through her Web site at www.susanfee.com or by email at Susan_Fee@msn.com. 

 

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, 2009