Products by

Susan Fee

In This Issue

News & Notes:  New Format

Topic of the Month: Are You Looking at Me?

Questions for Reflection

Action Step

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News & Notes: New Format

A seasoned speaker once told me that every three years, I should go through my research and story files and dump everything.  No matter how attached I thought I was to the material, I should start all over again, creating workshops from scratch.  Otherwise, I stood the chance of growing stagnant and relying on information that wasn’t relevant or interesting.

As much as I balked at that idea, he was right.  It’s hard throwing out all that hard work, but it makes room for fresh ideas.  In that spirit, it’s time to present a new format for this monthly communication.

I’ve streamlined the material to focus on one communication topic per month.  Look for expanded topics to include relationships, parenting, personal, and professional interpersonal communication.  I hope to encourage further growth by providing some insight questions for you to consider and ways to apply the information in your life.

Take a look and let me know what you think! 

Until next month,

Susan Fee

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Topic of the Month:  Are You Looking at Me?

Who would have thought a wave, wink, and nod would have landed someone in so much trouble, but that’s exactly what happened to Cleveland Firefighter, John Coleman.  During the inaugural parade drum major John Coleman reciprocated an acknowledgment from the new president while marching past him with the Cleveland Firefighter's Memorial Pipes & Drums.  That’s all it took to get him suspended for six months.

It turns out, protocol prohibits any kind of eye contact and it was determined that Coleman broke the rules.  Yet, he swears he didn’t wink.  If you didn’t see the news story, watch the video here and judge for yourself. 

This story underscores the importance of body language awareness.  No matter what you say verbally, your body language reveals the truth.  Incongruence with your verbal message makes others feel uneasy.  Trust erodes and interest is lost.  Others determine your mood based on your body language and if you are approachable.  So what’s your body language broadcasting about you and are you aware of it?

For instance, how would you describe your posture?  A confident stance means standing with your shoulders over your hips.  Just a slight lean back can be perceived as pulling away or not committing, while curling forward is often perceived as a lack of confidence.  A rigid stance (think military) suggests a very formal person, and may not encourage others to approach you. 

Building an awareness of your body language is the first step.  Use these questions to help you.

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Questions for Reflection

Do others consistently misunderstand your mood or thoughts based on your body language?  What are they seeing that you may not be aware of?

If a group of people you’d never met before watched a video of you in conversation with the sound down, what impression do you think they’d have and why?

Observe a person you consider to be confident, trustworthy, and approachable.  What specific body language does this person demonstrate? How does it compare to what you project?

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 Action Step

Ask for feedback from 3-5 key people in your life about what they notice regarding your body language. How do they know when to approach you?  What signals do you give that you agree or disagree?  How do you show them you are interested or engaged? 

   

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Interested in booking training or coaching?  Let me know how I can help, Susan_Fee@msn.com. 

 

Susan Fee is a licensed counselor, personal coach, and national speaker.  She is the author of Positive First Impressions, Dealing with Difficult People, Building Resiliency, Secrets of Successful Presentations, and the college survival guide, My Roommate Is Driving Me Crazy!  She can be reached through her Web site at www.susanfee.com or by email at Susan_Fee@msn.com. 

 

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, 2009