In This Issue

News & Notes: Speaking Your Mind

Manager's Tip Sheet:   Excellence or Perfectionsim?

Personal Tip Sheet: Negotiating Non-Competes  

Difficult Conversations:  Protecting Personal Time    

Workshops, Products, and Services 

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News & Notes:  Speaking Your Mind

A maverick in the field of psychology has died.  Albert Ellis spoke his mind from the start and wasn’t afraid to make waves.  Although much of what he had to say was over-the-top, he poked and prodded people in his profession to think differently. 

In this age of politically correct speech, it can be refreshing to actually hear an opinion!  Even if the opinion may be different from your own or is potentially offensive, it gives us all a point at which to start dialogue, discuss ideas, and develop new ones.

It’s possible to take a stand and remain respectful.  You can say what you believe without putting down the others.  Without people who are willing to shake up the status quo, we all suffer from lack of new ideas. So, what’s on your mind?  I dare you to say it out loud!

 

Until next month,

 

Susan Fee

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Manager's Tip Sheet:  Excellence or Perfectionism?

When you ask your employees to do a job, what results are you expecting:  excellence or perfection?  What about the standards you set for yourself, and therefore communicate to others:  excellence or perfection?

According to psychologist Lloyd J. Thomas, there is a critical difference between the two.  One moves employees forward while the other consumes creativity and increases stress.  “To insist your vision of success in any endeavor be implemented perfectly, right now, in an imperfect world, is to be caught up in perfectionism.  To realize excellence in your life and seek to create it is to design a lifestyle of enjoyment and satisfaction,” says Thomas.

Here are further distinctions from Thomas to help you communicate the right message:

Make mistakes.  Excellence is a willingness to be incorrect (imperfect) and take moderate risks and learn from all mistakes; the perfectionist needs to be "right" and fears risking failure and rarely recognizes mistakes.

Accept reality.   Excellence accepts "what is" and thrives on the process of change and of engaging in new activities, whereas perfection judges (usually negatively) the current situation, engages in ongoing criticism of self and others and takes no joy in the process of change and reluctantly or grudgingly engages in any new activity.

Empower others.  Excellence increases personal power and confidence, decreases stress levels and fuels a deep sense of fulfillment and satisfaction.  Perfection increases frustration and anger/resentment and doubt, increases stress and pressure and negates any satisfaction (perfectionists are never satisfied).

Focus on the journey.  Excellence releases all blame for outcomes, focuses

on intention and views the process of change as a journey.  Perfection regularly blames self or others for outcomes, focuses only on "results" and views creating as a "destination."

Based on these descriptions, what kind of expectations are you communicating? Are your employees feeling stressed, criticized and resentful or do they complete projects with energy, creativity and satisfaction?  If you acknowledge you have room to improve, remember, nobody’s perfect! 

Ready to challenge yourself?  Consider Executive Coaching.

 

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Personal Tip Sheet:  Negotiating Non-Competes

In today’s job market, it’s not unusual to be asked to sign a non-compete as a condition of employment.  A non-compete is usually a paragraph in an employee agreement designed to prevent you from going to work for a competitor. 

According to Dan Miller, author of 48 Days to the Work You Love (B&H Publishing, 2007), they are legal and enforceable and a company can require you to sign the agreement as a condition of getting the job.  To see if your non-compete is enforceable, Miller suggests that you check with an attorney who has experience with employment law. Or check with the National Employment Lawyers Association (www.nela.org) or www.workforce.com.

At first glance, signing a non-compete may feel like you’ve got your hands tied, especially if you want to interview elsewhere.  But, here are some additional tips to help you with the conversation:

Be honest. Tell a prospective employer if you have signed a non-compete with your current company. Employers today know that many good candidates come to them with non-competes in place. Some employers will negotiate with the former employer to find a way for the candidate to work for them.

    

Think skills.  A non-compete does not necessarily prevent you from working in the same profession. If you are a computer programmer working for a bank, you may be able to go to work, using your same skills, working for a real estate development company.

Ask questions.  Before signing a non-compete, ask questions.  However, timing is crucial!  The time to negotiate such things is not during the first interview.  You have to sell yourself first before you’ve earned the right to discuss your conditions of employment.  Once you’ve proven that you would be a beneficial hire then you’ve earned the power to negotiate. 

More job interview tips. 

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 Difficult Conversations:  Protecting Personal Time

Q:  I’m a computer technician.  Friends, family, and neighbors are always asking me if I can take a “quick” look at their computer.  It’s getting to the point that I don’t want to answer my phone or accept a dinner invitation because I know what’s coming.  I love my job, I just don’t want to do it 24 hours a day and at no charge!  What can I say?

A:  I feel your pain! I know what’s coming when an acquaintance says something like, “I have this situation, it’s not really a problem, but maybe you can help me.”  These are usually folks who don’t want to admit that perhaps they have a real problem worthy of counseling.  If I’m not careful, I’m still talking about this “non-problem” two hours later. 

It can be a sticky situation because part of professional networking is sharing what we do and it’s a good sign when others seek our opinions.  Some of the best leads come from the very people who are asking for advice on the side.  I don’t think people are intentionally trying to take advantage of you, but they are probably ignorant of how often this occurs and how labor intensive their requests can be.  It’s up to you to set limits and educate.

Get a quick verbal assessment of the situation, if you can give a few tips on the spot, great!  But, if it sounds more complex, say something like:  “I’m sure this can be fixed but with a lot more time.  I have openings next week if you want to bring it in.  You can call my office to make an appointment.”  Or, if you don’t accept outside jobs, recommend a shop or technician that does quality work. 

If people press you to “take a quick look,” stand your ground!  Smile and say, “Oh, I wish these problems only took a few minutes to solve, but since I do this work all day long, I know better!  In the shop I recommended they could diagnose it quickly with their equipment.  I’m sure they can help you.”  

 

Submit your difficult questions to Susan_Fee@msn.com.  If your question is chosen for publication, you’ll receive a complimentary copy of Dealing With Difficult People.

   

   

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Workshops, Products, and Services

Upcoming Workshops and Appearances.  Engagements are open to the public when noted.

“Surviving College Roommates”

August 14

Family Matters Radio

“Establishing and Maintaining Professional Boundaries”

August 22

Parma Hospital

Parma, OH

Q104 Morning Show, Cleveland 5:30-10:00 am EST

August 27

“Mean Girls:  Helping Your Daughter Develop Positive Friendships”

October 23, 6:30-8:30 PM

“Full Esteem Ahead!  Building and Maintaining Self Esteem in Girls”

October 30, 6:30-8:30 PM

Cost:  $20 per workshop, or $35 for both.

Location:  7007 E. Sprague, Suite 1, Independence, OH.

Register by calling:  800-600-5327

 

Products and Services

 

New!  Parent Coaching for Daughters

 

Order a PowerPack and save money!

Interested in booking training or coaching?  Let me know how I can help, Susan_Fee@msn.com. 

Susan Fee is a licensed counselor, business and personal coach, and college adjunct faculty member.  She is the author of Positive First Impressions, Dealing with Difficult People, Building Resiliency, Secrets of Successful Presentations, and the college survival guide, My Roommate Is Driving Me Crazy!  (Adams Media).  She can be reached through her Web site at www.susanfee.com or by email at Susan_Fee@msn.com. 

 

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, 2007