In This Issue

News & Notes: Reality Check

Manager's Tip Sheet:  Ask, Don't Tell

Personal Tip Sheet:  5 Tips for Speaking Impromptu  

Difficult Conversations:  Saying No to B.O.        

Workshops, Products, and Services 

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News & Notes:  Reality Check

  

I'm writing this from my dorm room on the campus of Dartmouth College in Hanover , NH.  I'm here teaching presentation skills to a talented group of professionals in the NACM Credit School Program.  

 

It's been years since I've stayed in a space this small.  It's called a reality check.  After all, I wrote a book on adapting to college life and dealing with difficult roommates.  Looking around my single room I can remember how cramped it gets with another person living four feet away.  Is it no wonder conflicts erupt?    

 

In the next two months, I'll be visiting a lot of college campuses, teaching mediation to residence life staff.   You can be sure that I'll be sharing my recent dorm living experiences!        

 

Every so often, it's good to get back in the trenches.   It adds to your empathy and credibility.  What task or experience do you need to revisit?  Challenging perceptions, especially ones cemented long ago, is what creates a truly open communicator.

              

Until next time,

Susan Fee

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Manager's Tip Sheet: Ask, Don't Tell

How do you spend most of your time at work:   a) putting out fires and solving problems or b) focusing on long-term planning while supervising your self-sufficient staff?   If you answered "a" then my first piece of advice is this:   Stop solving problems.  

 

Coaching your staff to self-sufficiency requires that you teach them to become problem solvers.   If they rely on you for all the answers, then you are creating an energy-drain on yourself, and dependency for your staff.  

 

Instead, when an employee has a problem, ask a question to encourage critical thinking rather than providing the answer.   Training may take more time upfront, but in the end you have developed an employee who can solve problems and train others.   Here are some common situations and suggestions for coaching questions.  

  

• Setting goals:   Instead of setting goals for an employee, find out what he or she wants to achieve by asking, what would you like to have happen that isn't happening now?   Or, six months from now, how will your situation be different?

• Supporting organizational goals:   If an employee sets a goal that appears more self-serving than in support of the organization, build awareness by asking, how will this help or hinder your job performance? Or, how would you describe the work culture?   How do you fit in?

• Encourage motivation.   Contrary to popular belief, money is not the best motivator.   As long as a person is making a comfortable living, then the source of motivation is more personal.   Discover what that is by asking, would you tell me about a time in your life when you were performing at your peak and felt totally excited, satisfied, and proud?   What was that like for you?   How is that different than how you feel now?  

• Accountability:   For employees who love to blame others and excuse their own behavior, ask questions that encourage accountability such as, how have you contributed to the situation?   Or, what can you do differently that will influence the outcome?

Find out more about Coaching Skills for Managers.

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Personal Tip Sheet:  5 Tips for Impromptu Speaking

Have you ever been in a meeting, minding your own business, when the leader turns and asks you to share your ideas?   Suddenly, all eyes are on you.   You had not planned to speak, but now everyone's expecting you to say something.   All you can think is:   brain freeze!   The good news is that speaking off-the-cuff is a skill that can be improved.   With practice and a few pointers, you can respond in any situation.  

 

I've just published my latest booklet, Secrets of Successful Presentations: 81 Tips to Prepare and Deliver Every Speech with Confidence!   Here's a preview of five ideas to help you with impromptu speaking:        

 

Anticipate speaking.   You won't be caught off guard if you plan on being asked to comment, rather than hoping you're not called on.   Remain engaged and participate in conversations, meetings, or presentations.   

 

Clarify.   If you're not clear on the question or topic, clarify before speaking.   It will help keep your comments focused.  

 

Go with the flow .   Give the first response that pops into your mind and expand on it.   Too much self-editing gives you time to doubt the quality of your answer.      

 

Make one point .   Prevent rambling by sticking to one clear point.   You can always provide more information later.   Keep your answer brief by stating your point, supporting it, and repeating it to close.      

 

Keep it personal.   Support your point with a personal experience, observation, or example.   You lessen the chance of going blank by relying on information you know well.   

 

Need help preparing an upcoming presentation?

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Difficult Conversations:  Saying No to B.O.

Q:   My work partner has very strong body odor.  When we have to work together in the same room, I can't breathe!   How do I tell him he stinks without embarrassing him?

A:   Personal hygiene is a delicate topic, but the best strategy is to be honest.   Ask to speak privately and be straightforward and respectful. Many times, there's been a change in diet resulting in bad breath and B.O.   There's a good chance he is unaware of the problem and will appreciate the feedback.

You could say something like, "I'm sure you're not aware of this so I wanted to let you know that I've noticed your body odor is very strong.   Since we work so closely together, I wanted to be honest with you.  I hope I didn't offend you."

 

Avoid going on and on about how embarrassing this is for you to bring up.   It will only make him uncomfortable.   Keep your comments brief and supportive.

Submit your difficult conversations to Susan_Fee@msn.com.     

   

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Workshops, Products, and Services

Upcoming Workshops and Appearances.   

"College Survival Tips"

WKYC-TV's Good Company

August 10

Cleveland , OH

 

"Coaching Skills for Managers"

IMCEA MWR Expo 2006

August 15-16

Louisville , KY

 

"Roommate Mediation"

College of Wooster , John Carroll University , Cleveland State University

August 17-21

Cleveland , OH

 

"Understanding Relational Aggression"

Lake Ridge Academy

August 25

Wickliffe , OH

Products and Services

Perfect High School Graduation Gift!    

 

Roommates can make or break a college experience.   Few young adults expect to have conflict and have little or no experience solving personality differences.   Prepare them for success now by purchasing a copy of Susan's hit college survival book My Roommate Is Driving Me Crazy!   Solve Conflicts, Set Boundaries, and Survive the College Roommate from Hell.    

Interested in booking training or coaching in 2006?  Let me know how I can help, Susan_Fee@msn.com. 

Susan Fee is a licensed counselor, business and personal coach, and college adjunct faculty member.  She is the author of Positive First Impressions, Dealing with Difficult People, Building Resiliency, Secrets of Successful Presentations, and the college survival guide, My Roommate Is Driving Me Crazy!  (Adams Media).  She can be reached through her Web site at www.susanfee.com or by email at Susan_Fee@msn.com. 

 

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, 2005