In This Issue

News & Notes: Sticks and Stones

Manager's Tip Sheet: Why Should I Do What You Say?

Personal Tip Sheet:  Watch a Pro in Action  

Difficult Conversations:  Redirecting Vents    

Workshops, Products, and Services 

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News & Notes:  Sticks and Stones

The recent comments of Alec Baldwin and Don Imus have proven that words alone can pack a punch.  Last month, the Rutgers women's basketball team accepted radio host Don Imus' apology for insulting them on the air, saying that he deserves a chance to move on but that they hope the furor his words caused would be a catalyst for change.

In explaining how they were affected, one player said that Imus had “stolen their moment of glory.”  Mr. Imus does not deserve that much power.  Without question, his comments altered this team’s story, setting the stage perhaps for the greater story they were meant to tell, but had yet to realize.

If you've ever been the punching bag for a verbal assault, you know the power of words.  That power grows if we adopt the same language to describe ourselves.  The most powerful thing you can do is to keep telling your own story in your own words.  If Alec Baldwin's daughter and the women of Rutgers can do the same, it will be Targets-1, Bullies-0.

 

Until next month,

Susan Fee

More tips on forgiveness and resiliency. 

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Manager's Tip Sheet: Why Should I Do What You Say?

 

At two years old, most of us started asking an important question, “Why?”  A new study by Phillip G. Clampitt, communications professor at the University of Wisconsin, Green Bay reveals that as adults, we’re still asking.  We especially want to know when bosses hand down decisions with little or no explanation.

How do you create buy in for a new directive?  According to Clampitt, it’s imperative to involve employees in the decision making process as much as possible.  Not all situations are open for discussion, and in those cases, you need to explain the how and why behind how a decision was made.  The more employees understand the rationale behind an initiative, the study suggests, the more likely they are to support it.

Here are Clampitt’s suggestions for what to tell employees about decisions:

• Explain how the decision was made.
• Share the reasons behind it.
• Reveal what alternatives were rejected.
• Explain how the decision fits into the organization’s mission and vision.
• Detail changes it will mean for the company/organization.
• Demonstrate how it affects employees.

Need help facilitating a change?  Start with Executive Coaching.

              

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Personal Tip Sheet:  Watch a Pro in Action

 

Linda Ellerbee is an outspoken journalist, award-winning television producer, best-selling author, a breast cancer survivor, a mom, a grandmother and one of the most sought-after speakers in America. She was the keynote speaker at the American Counseling Association’s 2007 Convention and I was front and center for a fantastic speech! 

The ACA has made her keynote address available online so that you can see it too.  Her presentation exemplifies many of the points I make in Secrets for Successful Presentations.

Here are four tips from my booklet and examples of how Ms. Ellerbee demonstrates them.

Tip #2 Know your audience. The more you customized your material to the needs and interests of your audience, the more relevant your material.  Ms. Ellerbee opened by acknowledging the work of mental health professionals and noting how she had personally benefited.  Of course, she had us at hello!

Tip #15 Write for the ear.  We write more formally than we speak, so a speech written word-for-word can sound stiff and unnatural.  Even though she was glancing at notes, listen for her use of contractions and everyday language.  Can you picture what she’s saying?  Listen for her descriptive details, metaphors, and examples.  She takes you there.

Tip #18 Make it memorable.  Stories create pictures in the mind, building an emotional connection, and anchoring them to memory.  This presentation is one story after another, supported by a relevant point.  When’s the last time you saw a presentation without PowerPoint? 

Tip #45 Accept mistakes.  Audiences don’t know what you had planned to say and, in most cases, won’t notice a mistake unless you announce it.  This speech is in no way perfect.  She occasionally stumbles, forgets, and blows punch lines.  In other words, she’s human!  At the end of her speech, did you really notice?  Audiences are more accepting than we give them credit for.

Want to become a better presenter?  Consider Presentation Coaching.

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 Difficult Conversations: Redirecting Vents

 

Q:  One of my coworkers complains to me constantly.  I know it’s important to vent, but after a while, it brings me down too.  What can I say to be supportive, but also let her know that enough is enough?

A:  Venting is only helpful for a limited amount of time.  Otherwise, it turns into a rant that leaves you feeling much angrier than before because now you’re dwelling on negativity. 

If you truly want to support your coworker, set limits on venting and help her focus on solutions.  You could say, “I’m willing to listen to the problem for two minutes.  Then I want to hear what you plan to do about it.”  You will probably have to cut her off at two minutes (just as she’s getting rolling).  Say, “Okay, you’ve defined the problem.  What solutions are you working on?”  If she has no idea, end the conversation.  If you stay and continue to listen, you’re only teaching her to bend your ear some more.

More tips for dealing with difficult coworkers.

 

Submit your difficult conversations to Susan_Fee@msn.com.     

   

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Workshops, Products, and Services

Upcoming Workshops and Appearances.  Engagements are open to the public when noted.  

“Surviving a Relationship Breakup”

Good Company (Channel 3, Cleveland)

May, 3 10-11 am

Watch Susan’s April TV appearance on relationship stress

“Building Resiliency”

St. John Hospital

May 3

Westlake, OH

“Selling Yourself and Your Ideas”

Society for Marketing Professional Services

May 17

Cleveland, OH

“Maintaining a Positive Focus”

Avery Dennison

May 11 &18

Mentor, OH

Products and Services

New!  Parent Coaching for Daughters

 

Order a PowerPack and save money!

Interested in booking training or coaching?  Let me know how I can help, Susan_Fee@msn.com. 

Susan Fee is a licensed counselor, business and personal coach, and college adjunct faculty member.  She is the author of Positive First Impressions, Dealing with Difficult People, Building Resiliency, Secrets of Successful Presentations, and the college survival guide, My Roommate Is Driving Me Crazy!  (Adams Media).  She can be reached through her Web site at www.susanfee.com or by email at Susan_Fee@msn.com. 

 

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, 2007