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Susan Fee

In This Issue

News & Notes:  Fresh Perspective

Topic of the Month:  Living a 3-D Life

Questions for Reflection

Action Step

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News & Notes: Fresh Perspective

Greetings from New Zealand!  I promise I’m not writing this while on vacation, because what kind of break would that be?  Instead I prepared for my absence by pumping out nearly two months of work in about 3 weeks.  Isn’t it amazing how productive you can be when a vacation is around the corner?

We’re actually meant to operate this way, expending and restoring energy in equal proportions.  By nature’s example, plants bloom and go dormant; tides flow in and out.  That’s in contrast to society’s unnatural 24/7 expectation of constant output, forcing productivity, relationships, and communication to become superficial just to survive.

If that’s where you are - just skimming the surface of life - imagine what 2011 would look like if you could live it with more depth, meaning, and impact?  Don the 3-D glasses!  This month’s tips will help you gain a whole new perspective. 

 

Until next month,

And, just for fun and inspiration, take a look at this speech by d

Susan Fee

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Topic of the Month:  Living a 3-D Life

Now showing: Your Life in 3-D! How would your life story look on the big screen if viewed in 3-D?  What makes a three-dimensional picture so cool is the addition of depth.  Both in movie making and life, adding depth takes a lot more time and work.  It’s costlier upfront, but has the potential of a big payoff. 

Movies in 3-D involve you in the experience versus allowing you to be a spectator.  Ever feel like you’re removed from life, watching from a distance?  Fear, pain, and guilt keep us living on the surface, but they don’t have to.  Here’s how to start adding a new dimension to your life:   

 

Forgive.  Chances are that you’ve been hurt by someone in your life.  It won’t be the first time, because we humans are repeat offenders.  However, refusing to forgive turns that pain into a deep bitterness that distances you from life.  Walls of anger keep you from engaging in anything meaningful.  Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself.  It doesn’t mean that you forget or approve of the offense.  Nor does it hinge on the other person’s remorse, acknowledgement, or apology because that’s still giving the other person too much power over your life. Instead, forgive to release yourself from the pain of holding on.

Apologize.  Chances are that you’ve hurt someone in your life, and rather than acknowledge it, you’re just avoiding.  Faking relationships will take you wide, but not deep.  Sincere apologies have three steps:  1) Own your actions fully without excuses 2) Acknowledge how your actions impacted others 3) State how your behavior will change in the future in order to rebuild trust.  Read more about this process here.

Unplug from Technology.  Research shows that our use of technology has actually changed the way our brains learn.  Information overload has made us scanners, with no transference to long-term memory.  We need time to dive deeper into experiences, contemplate, and practice applying new ideas.  Much of the natural process takes place during rest, so no more sleeping with your phone!

Discover Your Strengths.  Everybody has natural strengths, but often they come so easily to us, we minimize them.  When engaged in those strengths, you feel alive and energized.  The further you stray from your strengths the more depleted and resentful you feel.  Stop cluttering your life.  Just because you’re competent at something doesn’t mean it’s the best use of your talent.  It’s better to focus deeply on one or two strengths than juggle meaningless activities. 

Drive in the Dark.  A big reason people refrain from diving into life is because they want to know exactly what’s going to happen if they do.  But most of life is like driving in the dark.  You only need to be able to see as far as the headlights shine.  You have no control over the next day’s events, but neither does anyone else.  All you need to know to live more deeply is right there in front of you.

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Questions for Reflection

 

What action or decision could you make right now that would massively change your life into a 3-D version?  What’s holding you back?

What person or situation came to mind when reading the above tips?  What would it take for you to do something about it in the next week?

What scares and/or excites you about living your life with more depth?

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 Action Step

Write down the biggest thing that you feel is blocking you from living in 3-D.  Mark your 2011 calendar for three months from today.  On that day, how will your life be different if you addressed what’s holding you back?  Start today. 

 

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Interested in booking training or coaching?  Let me know how I can help, Susan_Fee@msn.com. 

 

Susan Fee is a professional clinical counselor, personal coach, and national speaker.  She is the author of Positive First Impressions, Dealing with Difficult People, Dealing with Mean Girls, Building Resiliency, Secrets of Successful Presentations, and the college survival guide, My Roommate Is Driving Me Crazy!  She can be reached through her Web site at www.susanfee.com or by email at Susan_Fee@msn.com. 

 

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, 2011